We're......!

There was a time when Mike and I wondered how we'd have a family. Month after month passed, year after year passed, and still no baby on the way. It seemed like all our friends and siblings were having babies right and left and we were somehow left behind. Infertility challenged our strength, our faith, our relationship, everything in us. Yet, we feel like we walked away better people having experienced those hard and lonely years waiting for little people to fill our home. We wouldn't give those years up for anything.

After going through every infertility treatment under the stars, we were elated when we found out Andrew was on his way! We were doubly thrilled when we found out we had 'two for the price of one' with two more little guys coming to our family! Yet, there was a part of me that wanted to wear a huge sign that said, "All these babies didn't come easy!" I didn't want the infertility populations to think I had left their ranks. Although I'm up to my eyeballs in mommyhood, those feelings of desperation and squelched hope are still very fresh in my mind.

A few months ago, Mike and I were talking about our little family. How many more times are we up for IVF, how will we afford it again, what would the timing be, how would we do it with school, etc? With grad school and a move looming, the topic was put on the back burner, yet we had no resolution.


Two days before our move, we were shocked to find out that baby #4 is on the way! Our disbelief quickly turned to excitement. Actually, the disbelief stuck around for a few days for me, but once blood work confirmed I was pregnant I started to try and wrap my mind around the fact that we were....pregnant! We didn't spend weeks in KC with a team of doctors or drain our savings, we're just pregnant!

We feel very excited, and very humbled, as we prepare for this next little person to come to our family. I feel like Heavenly Father knows exactly what each of us needs at every given moment in our lives. What we need rarely comes when we expect it, but somehow it all works out. Maybe I needed five years of wanting children to be able to handle and enjoy four children in four years. Regardless, I love being a mother, I love my boys, and I'm excited for baby #4 to join our family in January!